• Leah Chelle

7 Ways To Stop Being Your Own Bully and Start Being Your Own Best Friend

Why should you be your own best friend you ask? Simple, because no one will care about you as much as you care for yourself. That's not to say that your family members or friends don't care, but you should be your number one priority because if you don't care for yourself how can you expect others to?

So how can we build a stronger and more loving relationship with ourselves? Well, we can start by determining what the definition of a best friend means to you.

Is it someone who listens to your problems and doesn't judge?

Perhaps they give great advice about certain situations.

Are they honest with you?

Or maybe they just bring out the best in you.

To me becoming your own best friend means to let go of all of the negative thoughts and feelings that you have towards yourself and start giving yourself some tough love. You should be there for yourself when no one else is because you can't always rely on others. Now, this is no easy task. You will need a lot of determination and you will need to put your best foot forward.

At the end of it all you will thank yourself for taking the time to appreciate, respect and get to know your inner self better.

The gift of a friendship that no one can ever take away from you is truly the best gift you can offer yourself.

Whatever the definition of a best friend is to you, you should strive to be 100% better towards yourself. So be your own best friend and stop bullying yourself, you deserve to be happy and be there for yourself especially in times of need.

Have a positive attitude towards life

I know this sounds very cliche, but once you have developed a positive mindset you will be on the road to becoming your own best friend.

Being in a postive mindset is scientifically proven to reduce stress, lower depression and even build self confidence. That's not to say you should completely push away the negative because a negative mindset is completely healthy to have in certain situations, such as, grieving.

When focusing on the positive find things that are going right in your life and don't think so much about the negative. Yes, the negative will still be there, but the positive can out weigh them tremendously.

Did someone cut you off in traffic? Did you burn dinner? Make a wrong turn?

So what? None of that really matters. Don't let meaningless things such as those get in your head and ruin your day. Ask yourself if it's worth being upset over. Life is too short to worry about small things such as those. Just simply notice them and then move on.

Lift your spirits up by focusing on what makes you smile. Do what you love and focus on all of the positive things no matter how small.

When things go wrong in your life keep in mind that there is a rainbow after every storm and everything does indeed happen for a reason.

Set goals

Setting goals for yourself is essential and it can help pave a path to your future. Once you complete one goal, big or small, it will make you feel happy and fulfilled.

Many people work hard and seem to not get anywhere. This is because they have not set any personal goals for themselves. No one would want to set out on a big adventure without knowing exactly where they are going. So why would you want to live your life that way?

Think of what you want out of life. Where do you see your self in the future? What do you want out of life?

Now write down some SMART (specific, measurable, attainable, relevant and time-bound) goals. This will increase your chances of achieving what you want in life by making your goals seem more clear. It helps you be more productive and it can help you manage your time better.

When we push ourselves and have something to work towards it gives our life meaning. So whatever your goal at the moment is you should work towards it. Your future self will thank you for it later.

Get to know yourself

Do you know yourself? Like, really know yourself?...Most people like to think that they do, but the truth of the matter is that if you sat down and analyzed every single thought you have throughout the day you will see otherwise and you will be surprised.

Getting to know yourself goes way beyond knowing who your favorite music artist is or knowing your favorite color or favorite food. Get to know the things that matter.

What makes you tik?

Are you familiar with your strenghts and weaknesses?

Do you know your personality?

Do you respect your values?

Most importantly, do you know your purpose in life?

If not, I highly suggest that you take the time to familiarize yourself with them.

You must put effort into getting to know yourself. If you think that you know yourself because you are with yourself 24/7, think again. No one is born knowing who they are, it takes time. It is just like making a new friend. This is something that is neglected and often never really thought about. People either choose to get to know themselves on a personal level or ignore the fact that they don't.

Forgive yourself

Are you beating yourself up over something that you did or didn't do in the past or present? We have all felt that dreadful guilt feeling before and it's not fun. It is totally fine to feel guilty because every emotion serves a purpose, but you must learn how to forgive yourself.

If you struggle with admitting that you have messed up: imagine how it feels when someone forgives you. What emotions do you feel? What actions do you want to take afterwards? I'm sure that you know how being forgiven feels, once you visualize it you are one stepcloser to self-forgiveness.

Dwelling in the past does NOT help.

Whatever you did that made you sad or mad at yourself is in the past and it's done. You can't go back and change it, but you can move on and make it better by accepting what happened and then forgive yourself for it. Think of the mistake/s as a learning experience it will help you overcome the situation and forgive yourself much easier and faster.

Isn't forgiving ourselves just as important as forgiving others?

Daily Compliments

You! Yes you--You are a wonderful, amazing and beautiful person.

When is the last time that you complimented yourself? There are people struggling with their self esteem and their appearance every single day. If you are one of those people you could really benefit from giving yourself a compliment every now and then. You will feel surprised at how much better you will feel afterwards.

When you look in the mirror do not point out your flaws! I'll let you in on a secret...everyone in this world is flawed!

Nobody is perfect.

Your flaws is what makes you beautiful and unique, we are a combination of good and bad. So embrace the flaws and compliment yourself often and try to focus more on the good.

Why wait to recieve a compliment from someone else? Yes, it will put you in a cheerful mood, but you shouldn't wait on it like a dog waiting for a bone.

Be the first in line to do it-it will make you a much happier person and you will start to smile more often and even build more confidence. Let the other compliments be the cherry on top of yours.

This small act of kindness towards yourself will build your self confidence and respect. Once you are confident in your skin and respect yourself it will begin to shine through and show to the outside world. People will in fact start to respect you more because you respect yourself

A compliment a day keeps the psychiatrist away!

Date yourself

Have you ever been a date?

Now, have you ever been on a date with yourself?

If not - you are missing out on an amazing probably even a life changing experience. Take time out of your day to focus solely on yourself - the person that has been there for you since you were born, the person who will be there for you until you take your last breath. Silence yourself from the world and go out and treat yourself.

Treat this date with yourself as if it were any traditional date with another person. Take your time to get dressed up to look your best and take that leap...go on a first date with yourself! You will not regret it.

Love and embrace yourself. You will find your inner peace where you least expect it.

Learn to laugh at yourself

"If you can laugh at yourself, you can forgive yourself," - Susan Sparks

Loosen up! You have to laugh at yourself sometimes. Having a sense of humor can make life SO much easier. Plus it is scientifically proven to make you a healthier person by decreasing stress, improving heart health and even memory - just to name a few.

Laugh at the past. We are human and humans are not perfect, we have all done or said things in the past that we regret. Instead of beating yourself up over it why not just find the humor in it and have a good laugh?

Would you rather be upset about your imperfection or be able to laugh at them?

Laughter is truly the key to happiness...and great health!

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